Trust and patience are both integral to travel and life. And lately trust and patience both have tested me greatly.
Wasn’t that a great opener? Ok let’s just be real here. I’m not the prim and proper person who is one to elaquently write about stuff that has seriously pissed them off so let me just tell it like it is.
I am a reactionary person that trusts too easily and it has severely screwed me over!
Do I believe my first sentence? Absolutely. Do I have a good grasp of either of these two virtures? Clearly not!
You see I can’t seem to find the right balance of either. I’m fairly sure as a kid I had better patience than I do now for the most part but found it difficult to trust anyone.I was shy so making new friends was hard and therefore I ony trusted my core group of family and friends. I REALLY learned to trust when I went to Europe by myself with strangers.
And travel of any kind, inevitably increases how much crap you’ll tolerate or how long you can mentally and physically wait.
Travel has done great things for me in developing trust and patience. The irony is that day to day life is what knocks it out of wack. I am always seeking the next adventure, the next adrenaline rush, my next fix I guess. And therfore my patience on a day to day basis is probably non-existent. I’m like the chick from Willy Wonka, if I want it, I want it NOW!
So when I made the decision to sell my camera to pay for plane tickets I won’t even purchase for a few months, you can see patience was not a factor in my decision. In my mind, having the money in hand was better than using the camera a bit more before I sold it. I was too hastey and it screwed me over hard core.. In conjunction with my naive belief that all humans are inherently good…. A belief I am currently reevaluating.
But the really sad part of this, that I hate admitting is, this isn’t the first time I’ve let my haste, trust and reactionary nature screw me over. So this isn’t the “first of it’s kind” wake up call. But maybe this time, at this age, at this stage in my life, it will sink in. And leave a mark.
The previous times, I felt like crap after, much like now, but didn’t really runimate on the matter. I didn’t look inwards and evalute why I made that stupid choice I did. I didn’t learn anything from my mistake. I blamed everyone else and it was never my fault. And I’m not entirely sure if this time was 100% my fault but either way it’s time I owned it and learned.
Learning from mistakes can only make you a better person.